MY DOG ……. A SURPRISE FOR ME
OR
HOW I FINALLY GOT HIM!
-oOo-
PAGE TEN:
CASANOVA/PUPPY …….
THE CASE OF THE SMUDGED PAINT?
Portrait of An Innocent
Butter would not melt in his mouth!
-oOo-
It is well known amongst those who know me that when it comes to painting, I get more paint on me than anywhere else. First I get it on my fingers. Next on my hands and finally on my face! I am told that this results from putting too much paint on my brush. Try as I might, I seem to be incapable of not getting paint on me. No matter how much I try to take only a little paint onto the brush, within minutes, paint is running down the handle and onto my hands. Work gloves are fine, but once I take them off, I get paint on me from the paint on these gloves!
Messy Painters
And so when it came to the building of a porch that some friends and myself recently built at my house, they agreed that any painting and staining to be done would not involve me. Let me say here, in my defense, that despite my covering myself in paint or stain, I actually make a good job of what I have painted in the past. Of course, friends scoff at this and immediately talk about how much paint and stain I waste by painting other things than the object at hand.
Needless to say, I took no part in the painting and staining of the areas of the porch requiring covering. I avoided going anywhere near anything being painted or stained during the building. While the roof support posts were being painted white, I was sitting in the back garden far from the work. However, after a bit, I noticed that white paint had somehow found its way onto my left hand. Now how on earth could this possibly happen?
-oOo-
When I discovered the paint on my hands, I was at a loss to explain how this could have happened. Since I had not been to the front garden, I could not have touched any wet paint. I also had not touched any of the paint containers either. So what was left? And then the culprit revealed himself to me!
I looked down at my feet and who did I find sitting there and wagging his tail? Casanova/Puppy! Although his tail was being waved like a flag, I was able to see that part of it had white paint on it!
Paint on The Tail
Further investigation led me to discover that he also had white paint on his fore paws and hind legs!
Paint on a Fore Paw (Left) & on a Hind Leg & Tail (Right)
It would seem that he had brushed against one or more of the support posts of the porch that were being painted that day. Evidently some of this paint had been transferred to my hands after I had petted him without having noticed what he had been up to!
-oOo-
A TAIL OF TEASING AND TORMENTING …….
THE CASE OF THE SMUDGED PAINT?
The Perry Mason Theme – The Intro
Anyway, I decided that it might be amusing to my friends were I to treat the paint on my hands as a mystery and pretend that I had no knowledge as to how it was put there. I went to the front of the house where I soon found that I had no need of Scotland Yard or Interpol (International Criminal Police Organization) or The FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation) to find the site of the crime. One of the freshly painted posts had clearly been markedly smudged!
Although I knew who the guilty party was, since we live in a Free Society where an accused or suspect is presumed innocent until proven guilty, Due Process had to be seen to be applied where evidence needed to be presented before the culprit of this dastardly crime could be unmasked for all to see.
Sir William Garrow (1760-1840) coined the phrase, Presumed Innocent until Proven Guilty
I called my friends together and pointed to the smudged area on the post and asked what, if anything, did they knew of the crime. Did they have any evidence to provide in order for me to expose the guilty. They each looked innocent and said nothing.
-oOo-
I said that I was investigating The Case of the Smudged Paint and was now ready to provide irrefutable evidence that would lead to the exposure of the perpetrator!
While I was talking Casanova/Puppy slipped onto the scene to join us and sat himself down on the ground.
-oOo-
One of my friends, who has suffered my teasing in the past, immediately turned white! I pointed to him, but said nothing, but then dismissed him from being the culprit and moved on to the second painter. Again I said nothing, but dismissed him from consideration. And then I moved my pointing finger downward and allowed my gaze to come to rest on the real culprit, Casanova/Puppy!
I accused him of being responsible for brushing against the wet post and drew attention to the evidence:
- the paint on his tail;
- the paint on his fore paws; and
- the paint on his hind legs!
Finally I pointed to my hand with the paint on the palm, which I said had been transferred there after I had patted him.
Everyone laughed, but Casanova/Puppy made no comment on the accusation and apparently refused to confess and throw himself on the mercy of the court. He preferring instead to respond by sitting quietly and licking his paws and ignoring the verdict!
-oOo-
Click on the links below to enjoy some overly dramatic Perry Mason endings:
The Case Of The Impatient Partner – Definitely the BEST and most amusing of confessions!
Some extreme confessions (including some of the most dramatic)
-oOo-
Following the exposure of the guilty party and once he had completed his ablutions, he rose and gracefully and quietly walked into the centre of the garden where upon he decided to celebrate getting away with his crime by enjoying a guiltless roll-around on the grass!
Who says crime does not pay?
The Perry Mason Theme – The Outro
—-oooOooo—