Stories Of London

PAGE TWENTY-NINE

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Dogs, cats, birds and other animals quickly become part of our families and offer us much. I was told that the loss of such a family member was often devastating. I have to admit that I never quite understood just how devastating this could be …….. but sadly, I was soon to learn!

Dean Martin (1917-1995) – Memories Are Made of This (1955)
(written by Terry Gilkyson (1916-1999), Richard Dehr & Frank Miller (1918-2015)

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Casanova/Puppy had always been what used to be called, a good eater! That means that he always cleared his bowl at breakfast and dinnertime, licking it until the very last morsel had been found and ingested!

Amongst the fallen Cherry Blossoms

A friend once told me that I was starving him and so I started to add a little light lunch to his diet! This consisted of a variety of vegetables included broccoli, Brussel sprouts, carrots and cauliflower. At first he ate them with gusto, but later became more choosey. He began to refuse each one in turn and ignored them in his bowl. I decided to vary the menu. I had been told that dogs like a little boiled chicken and rice. So I gave him a little of this. At first he seemed to enjoy it, but later refused the rice and eating only the chicken.

Going in circles on the lawn & enjoying it

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I never worried about these refusals since he always gobbled up his regular food and the treats that were offered at various times of the day. However, I recall that on Tuesday, the 21st May, 2024, he left most of his breakfast, ate no lunch and later refused his dinner! This was worrisome, as nothing as extreme as this had happened before.  Despite not eating, he was able to walk to and back from my neighbour’s house, about 150 yards along the street, and chase some people that passed by the house.

The next morning he again refused to eat, and so later in the day, I called his Vet. and made an appointment for the following day, Wednesday, the 22nd May. At the Vet’s, Ultrasound Scans were made of his abdomen and blood was drawn for evaluation. We sat in the examining room and awaited the Vet. to return with some of the test results.

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When the Vet. returned to the consulting room, she told me that the mass in his liver that had first been found at and earlier visit, had now grown to be of a very large size. In addition, the Ultrasound Scan revealed the presence of a smaller mass in his spleen.  This sounded ominous!

The Vet. said that she was very sorry to tell me that Casanova/Puppy probably had only a couple of months to live.  She continued by saying that his condition would soon decline and that I should think about what I would like to do. Although he was without pain (he did not wince when his abdomen was palpated) and remained active at the Vet’s, this was likely to change soon and there would be days when he would most likely refuse his food and spend the day inactive, as he already had started to do.

I said that since he was not in pain at present, I would take him home and watch him for any changes to his demeanor. The Vet. agreed that this was appropriate and we left and came home.  The rest of the day was uneventful and he ate his dinner and treats and did not bother me at all during the night, which was normal for him.

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The next day, Thursday, the 23rd May, his behaviour abruptly changed. He did not come to me at 4.45 a.m. (on the dot!) with a request to go outside to relieve himself.

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Since I was now used to his habits, I was awake at this time.  I found him on the floor of the sitting room.  He was awake, but would not move, even when I gently encouraged him. I brought his water bowl and food bowl to him where he lay, but he showed no interest in their contents.

After several hours, I managed to encourage him to get up and to come outside, where he relieved himself. I believe that he only did this to make me happy! Following this, he walked slowly to the front door and turned to look at me, thereby letting me know that he had no interest in exploring the garden and wished to return to the sitting room. Once I opened the front door, he slowly walked inside and took up his place on the floor and closed his eyes.

I got down onto the floor and sat with him and gently stroked his head and neck. Occasionally I gave him a kiss. He accepted them, but made no movement for a good while. I sensed that he was feeling miserable. I leant over to his right ear and whispered a question that I was dreading to ask: I asked him if he wanted me to let him go? He lifted his head and licked my hand. I took this to be his answer!

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After a while, I got up and telephoned the Vet.  During the ‘phone call, I learned that Casanova/Puppy had developed severe Anemia: he had developed a very low Erythrocyte count (Red Blood Cell count) and therefore had a low Haemoglobin level (Haemogloblin carries oxygen from the lungs through the blood to the tissues). And worse yet, his Liver Function Tests were once again sky-high in value!

Haemoglobin

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I told the Vet of his increased lethargy and lack of enthusiasm to move or eat or drink. After some discussion, we came to the conclusion that it would be best for him to be Euthanised sooner rather than later (i.e., Euthanasia is the practice of intentionally ending life to eliminate pain and suffering). As much as it pained me to agree to this, I did, as I did not want him to suffer further gloom and despair and perhaps pain.

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An appointment was made for him at 10.30 a.m. on Saturday, the 25th May when his life with me would end. I did not want to see him suffering and tried to be positive, but deep in my heart, although this would be the case, I knew that my own misery and despair was only just beginning. Following my conversation with the Vet., I made arrangements for Casanova/Puppy and me to get to our appointment.

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Once this was done, I returned to Casanova/Puppy who had not stirred from his place on the carpet in the sitting room.  I remember that he looked so peaceful lying there with his legs outstretched. I remembered him lying on my bed and how his paws would dig into me! The thought of what once was an annoyance caused my eyes to fill with tears and I cried and wanted him to get well and be his old self once more.  I got down on the floor and put my arm across him and gently stroked him behind his right ear.

I lay there for an unknown period of time wondering how I was going to live without him. I remember thinking that it was incredible that a dog that had only been with me for what seemed like a short space of time was going to leave such grief once he left. If only it could have been longer!

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Madame Butterfly waits patiently with her son & Suzuki

Coro A Bocca Chiusa (The Humming Chorus) from
Madame Butterfly Act 2 by Giacomo Puccini (1858-1924)
Performed by The Orchestra of The Hungarian State Opera

I stayed with him throughout the night and held silent Vigil with him on the floor. I stroked him a number of times, but he made no motion to respond and moved very little during this time. I wanted the time to pass quickly while dreading its passing at the same time. I was miserable. I spent most of the night remembering him as he used to be, from the time when I first saw him being training in the front garden, when it was apparent how much he was enjoying himself. I remembered the time he stole my tomato sandwich which annoyed me at the time, but now of course, I would gladly buy him a bushel of tomatoes. And now I would gladly tolerate his eternal licking of my legs etc etc. My thoughts raced on and on through the night.

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